Stupid Boyfriend
by deartinkerbell
Summary: when did I become an romance advice magazine? Noah Aaron Puckerman, you listen to me, Rachel Barbara Berry will not leave you for the idiot who broke her heart over and over again. now, what's holding you back?


**A/N**: It's been a while, since i updated anything. _AND_ i have a reason, well a few.  
>1) Right after i got over my writers block, i got it again. &amp; I know this reason sucks, but it's true because I try writing something and i cannot get any ideas.<br>2) at the moment i'm sick, and i just don't feel like doing anything. and Even though it's not the "throwing up" sick, it's the "My body is tired all the time" sick. and my three year old niece is sick, and i take care of her til my sister gets off work. So, really my job is to watch her 24/7. (not joking)  
>3) I'm behind on in my classes, and by classes, i mean all of them. I don't know why I just don't do anything. I'm not stupid, or anything, I just don't do the work. I don't know what my problem is, but i need to fix it.<p>

other then that, I'm here posting an one-shot. I've been working on this for a few weeks. I wanted to post the last chapter of Open Your Heart, but i'm not done yet and same goes to everything else. I'm trying to find a song to go with The Numb Feeling, and i'm trying to figure out ideas for Pictures of You. it's really hard, honestly. But I finally got something out of me, and even though i hate most parts, it's something.  
>Now that i posted a long AN, here's the one-shot. (I'll post where i got the idea at the end.)

* * *

><p>She first noticed it during glee.<br>Everyone was waiting for Mr. Schue to stop lusting after Mrs. Pillsbury. Berry was sitting on top of the piano, talking to Puckerman, who was sitting on the bench. Both were smiling and laughing. She couldn't figure it out, that time. But it happened again, during lunch. Then it happened again, and again, and _again_. She noticed the little things Puckerman did, like, holding her books and giving Berry his jacket.  
>It didn't click in her head at all, not until he heard Puckerman start calling her the oddest nickname.<em>love<em>.

It's weird, because everyone else _didn't_ notice a thing.

Finn is too stupid to notice anything, and Brittany sees things to simple. Quinn doesn't pay any attention to Puckerman and Berry. Artie is too busy lusting after Brittany and Tina. Chang-Squared are too in love to much. Lauren dropped out of glee not to long ago, and Sam moved away. Mercedes got herself a boyfriend, and a bigger diva then Berry herself. Kurt's too busy with his boyfriend, and said boyfriend-

She did notice Anderson staring, smirking at Puckerman and Berry not to long ago. She smirked to herself, and figured out who can help her figure what the hell is up with Puckerman and Berry. _Blaine Anderson_.

"Hummel! I needs to talk to your boy-toy. Alone"

Kurt glared at her, and she knew why. But didn't say anything, Kurt gave Blaine a quick kiss to the cheek before heading off to Berry's locker.  
>"I'm guessing this has to deal with Rachel and Puck, am I right?"<p>

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

Blaine shrugged. "Noticed you staring at them, and you gave Puck a weird look when you heard him call Rachel, love. That is strange by the way, but I find it cute."

"That's creepy, Anderson. Read people's minds?"

He laughed, and shook his head. He started walking towards his locker, and she followed. "Don't read minds, sorry, didn't take that class. But I do pay attention around me. Like, Kurt feels awkward around Mercedes nowadays. Or that you really care for your friends, but hide it"

"But this isn't about me or you, so what's up?"

Santana stared at him, before shaking her head. "It's about the midget and Puckerman. you notice them, right? Or am I seeing things?"

"No you aren't seeing things, Rachel and Puck seem close" he laughed.  
>Santana leaned against the locker next to his, as he looked through it.<p>

"I hear him call her love! And I see every single little thing he does for her and vice versa! Yet, we all know they aren't together. And everyone else doesn't seem to notice!"

Blaine closed his locker, and faced her. "You don't know if they're together."

"Oh, I would know. Shortie would go bragging to all of us, and Puckerman- Puckerman would take every single chance to kiss her. and they don't do that!"

Blaine shrugged. "Maybe they want to hide it. I mean, for the longest time didn't you hide your feelings for Brittany? Some people don't like being judged. Plus, have you even talked to Rachel or Puck?"

-0-0-0-

"Woah, woah, _woah_!"  
>Santana smirked as she cornered Puckerman, and pulled him in the nearest closet. She shoved him, and closed the door behind her.<p>

"You're going to tell me truth, got it?" he raised an eyebrow but stayed quiet. "What the hell is going on between you and the midget?"

"Who?"

"_Rachel Berry_!"

Puckerman nodded, and shrugged. "Nothing, why?"

"Nothing? are you sure? You help her with all her songs, help her clean off a slushie, give her rides from school and you call her love! and you're telling me you aren't her boyfriend?"  
>He shook his head and shrugged. She looked at him again with her mouth open. "Then what the hell is that?"<p>

"It's called being her friend, if you know what that means"

"A friend doesn't call a friend _love_! So?"

"_so_, nothing. I'm Rachel's best friend, and I'm not changing that"

Santana shook her head and closed her mouth. "So you don't want to be her boyfriend?"

"_Boyfriend_? i don't wanna be Rachel's boyfriend"

"Then what do you wanna be?"

He signed, leaned against the wall.  
>"i dont<em> know<em>! i just wanna be with her all the time, i wanna hear about her day and tell her about mine. I wanna hold her hand and smell her hair. But i dont wanna be her _stupid _boyfriend"

"Stupid boyfriend, huh? or are you worried She'll fall for_ Frankenteen_ again, am I right?"

Puck glared at the floor avoiding Santana's gaze. He mumbled something she couldn't hear.  
>"I doubt she'll fall for him again, maybe because some <em>idiot<em> is calling her love in daylight. and I'm tired of seeing you two fuck each other with your clothes on! You know what else I'm tired of? Being one of two people that see it! Only two people!"

He looked up confused, and she couldn't help but laugh at him. "hell yeah, only two people notice. me and Anderson, he thinks you are secretly dating Berry."

"we're not dating. as much as I'd love too, we're not. Get over it Lopez, whatever the hell you say to me isn't going to change anything."

"Why aren't you dating her, dumbass?"

Puck groaned, mumbled something and avoided eye-contact.

"It's cause' of Frankenteen, ain't it?" she smirked, and knocked on his head making him glare at her. "It's him, oh this is fucking _gold_!"

"How the fuck is this gold? is this some kind of joke for you?"

"You don't see it, do you? Fuck, I'm not Berry's biggest fan and yet I see her staring at you like you're a fucking tony! You think she'll leave you for Frankenteen? Fuck, when did I become an romance advice magazine? _Noah Aaron Puckerman_, you listen to me. _Rachel Barbara Berry_ will not leave you for the idiot who broke her heart over and_ over_ again. now, what's holding you back?"

She sat back in glee, with Anderson on one side of her and Brittany on the other. She's not paying attention to whatever Blaine and Kurt are talking about, and Brittany's talking about her cat again. She's busy waiting for Puckerman to finally come in. And Berry's sitting on the piano, looking a bit sad, it she was being honest. Everyone else in the room is talking to one another, and she's bored waiting for Puckerman.

"Hey Midget!"  
>Rachel looks up with a confused look, and stares at her. Same goes to everyone else minus Blaine. It is rather shocking.<p>

"Yeah, Losers stop ya staring." She rolled her eyes and walked over to Rachel. "I gotta question"  
>Rachel nods.<p>

"Got any plans this weekend?"

"No, well, there's a dinner with Noah's family on Sunday. But that's all, why?"

"you, Britt and I are hanging out. Got it?"

She just nodded, and Santana smirked at her and walked back to her seat, and soon after they heard a tiny squeal from Rachel once Puckerman walked in, with a tulip in hand and his guitar in the other. Santana smirked to herself, she knew about this. She is the one who helped pick out the song anyway, shut up. Blaine leaned over and whispered, "Did you have something to do with this?"

"Shut. Up. Anderson"  
>Blaine laughed and she smacked his arm.<p>

Mr. Schue entered the room and he went on and on about how great Journey is. Everyone was holding in the urge to roll their eyes, when finally Mr. Schue stopped about his favorite band.  
>"Does anyone have something planned?"<p>

"Uh, Mr. Schue I do" Puck said and stood up, "don't feel like explaining, someone told me something, and uh, said I should just go for it."

He nodded at the band, and they started up. Puck started clapping and then started playing his guitar.  
><em>You're so delicious<br>you're so soft  
>sweet on the tip of my tongue<br>you taste like sunlight  
>and strawberry bubble gum<em>

Santana watched as Rachel sat up straighter. She had to hold in a laugh, while she watched everyone else. Blaine smiled at her and nodded, Kurt was in smiling like no tomorrow, and recording it. Brittany squealed, and everyone else looked bored and pissed.

_you bite my lip  
>you spike my blood<br>you make my heart beat faster_

Puck winked at Rachel and moved towards her, moved his guitar to his back and held his hand out for Rachel. who gladly took it. Puck didn't stop singing, but started smirking and twirled Rachel around.

_own me, you own  
>you rattle my bones<br>you turn me over and over  
>'till I can't control myself<br>make me a liar  
>one big disaster<br>you make my heart beat faster_

_it's the way you swell, slow  
>pushing right out your seams<br>it's the way you smile, baby  
>when you've got me on my knees<em>

_your all night noise_  
><em>your siren howl<em>  
><em>you make my heart, beat, faster<em>

_own me, you own_  
><em>you rattle my bones<em>  
><em>you turn me over and over<em>  
><em>'till I can't control myself<em>  
><em>make me a liar<em>  
><em>one big disaster<em>  
><em>you make my heart beat faster<em>

_cause I jump back, crash, I crawl_  
><em>I beg and steal, I follow you<em>  
><em>yeah you own me<em>  
><em>and you make my heart beat faster<em>

_(I can't get enough_  
><em>because its on like<em>  
><em>I guess this world is over to me)<em>

_you own me, you own_  
><em>you rattle my bones<em>  
><em>you turn me over and over<em>  
><em>'till I can't control myself<em>  
><em>make me a liar<em>  
><em>one big disaster<em>  
><em>you make my heart beat faster<em>

As soon as Puck was done, Rachel was still in shock.  
>"So, love, you and me we're going to that new vegan restaurant tomorrow night."<p>

Rachel nodded, "Noah, what- what brought all this?"

"just a little birdie told me, I was being a pussy for not going after you." he nodded over towards Santana and wrapped an arm around Rachel's shoulders and lead her back towards her seat and sat next to her.

Mr. Schue shook his head and continued what they'll be doing, but everyone was still in a shock over Puck.  
>All but two people.<p>

Right as they're leaving, Santana leaned over to Puck.  
>"You owe me one, Puckerman."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** The idea behind this is from a since in HIMYM,  
><em>"boyfriend? i dont wanna be robin's boyfriend"<em>  
><em>"well, what do you want then?"<em>  
><em>"i dont know! i just wanna be with her all the time, i wanna hear about her day and tell her about mine. I wanna hold her hand and smell her hair. But i dont wanna be her stupid boyfriend"<em>

Honestly, I hate the end but i can't come up with anything else. So It's that, maybe they'll be a sequel about Puck helping Santana, or the pezberry friendship. Who the hell knows. But as for now, this is it. oh and i don't normally write much with music and what the dancing is... So bare with me, i suck on that one._  
>Song is; Faster by Matt Nathanson.<em>

the review button is waiting to be hit on ;_)_


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